4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
