You're completely useless in the revolution.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
