all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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