would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
