69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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