that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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