Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just google imaged poop.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
