if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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