found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
