a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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