Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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