i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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