What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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