I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
