THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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