Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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