I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
