We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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