i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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