Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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