Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
