I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize