i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
