He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I have post one night stand depression
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