I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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