whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
