oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
