we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How external is "for external use only"?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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