a queef is a wish your heart makes.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize