what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
