Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
