he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
