this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
