Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
