My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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