whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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