Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
