i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
