Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
