You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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