i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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