if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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