They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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