We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
