I got chris browned last night
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Randomize
