Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize