I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
