everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
