I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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