I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
