Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
