you guys were way drunker than both of me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
