FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
