u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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