Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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