i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
