Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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