i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
