So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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