things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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